Toddler VS Mommy

The Day it All Changed…

I’m pretty sure “toddler age” starts at 12 months, you know when they start getting curious and exploring everything that you wish was locked up ahead of time or always kept high beyond their reach. For me it happened today, two days shy of 9 months old. Sure there were signs leading up to this, but this is day 1, the day I realized I was truly in for it and things would no longer be the same.

It started with a 6am wake-up. As we went to the changing table it turned into an all-out wrestling match. He grabbed anything he could to get away from me, twisting and turning. Luckily dad was still home to hold/distract him while I did the dirty work.

After my morning warm up (aka diaper change), I started breakfast as usual. He ate a lot more than normal. Maybe that wrestling match built up his appetite. Quickly though he realized he had eaten enough and began to turn into the hulk, attempting to bust out of his high chair by puffing his chest and grunting. I’ll admit I let him out for fear of the changes about to happen.

As I set him on the floor of our bedroom to get dressed, he managed to empty the contents of the vanity and at this point I only had put my socks on. I took advantage of Dad’s last moments with us and they cuddled while I got my shoes on for our morning walk. Our walk was the most calming part of the day. He was content taking in all the sites. I should have just kept walking because apparently this was just the calm before the storm. When he arrived home again, it would be game on!

At this point, I had to go to the bathroom so I set him down to do my business as I watched him right outside the door. He pulls my large hairbrush off the counter and then proceeded to pull out a drawer filled with hair ties and barrettes out within a matter of seconds (something I couldn't stop unless I wanted another mess to clean). After disposing of some barrettes that apparently I held onto from the age of 7, we move into the office. I set him among some more of his toys and sang him a song. When I think he is distracted, I sit down at my desk after to answer an email about his baptism.  I look to my left and see he managed to pull down and eat a corner of legal document he pulled off the desk. I attempt to get the paper out of his mouth and instead only make him spit up into my hand. I think to myself, “Lord save us both”.

While trying to find a snack to eat, he successfully gave his pooh bear a bath in the dog’s water bowl. This was not good, a ½ hour before his nap, I had to get that pooh bear cleaned if I had any hopes of him going down without a fight. So, I took him into the laundry room with me. As I was emptying the laundry out of the dryer (that took me 3 washes and 3 days to finish), he was throwing the clothes out of the basket onto the floor behind me. Cute I thought, CUTE.

I picked him up again, put the laundry back and carried him into his nursery. I went back to start the dryer and another load and when I came back to the nursery saw cornstarch all over the carpet and my child pulling off the table runner to get to a business card he could stick in his mouth…what is it about paper? So after I vacuum, I turn around to clean up the mess from the table contents on the floor, and turn around again to see him chewing on the vacuum brush! UGH disgusting!

I whisk him away and put the vacuum back into the laundry room but couldn't get out of there before he grabbed the dog leash and knocked over several items on the peg board. Sigh…I set him down among his toys in the living room and as I land on the bean bag to rest my back, he begins to scream. As I try to comfort him he twists and turns to get away from me and immediately heads for the fireplace. I redirect him about 10 times before sticking him in my office with his toys and within 15 minutes he has figured out 3 different ways to turn off my computer.

Moving on, I attempt to get some dishes out of the left side of the sink so I can at least wash my hands but not before he is standing on the dishwasher door pulling out all the silverware. Realizing we are both probably hungry I set him back into his high chair. I begin to prepare his lunch and end up breaking out into song and dance to entertain him. I think to myself, this performance should definitely earn me ‘Gleek of the week’ or at least 1,000 hits on YouTube had I recorded it. I look at the clock, 12:30. Only 5 more hours until Dad gets home.

The day continues to go on like this and when Dad gets home at 6:00 he says what’s for dinner? I silently say the serenity prayer and then tell him I hear McDonalds has an excellent $1 menu, “O and I need to talk to you about going back to work.”

Have you hugged a mom today?